Travels With My Son

I would say that Cornwall bookended, and therefore was the inspiration – along with our ‘Big Adventure’ – for what was to become Travels With My Son, and so it feels only right that Cornwall is where I begin.

Our son Stewie was never technically ‘with’ us in Cornwall. When we first visited he was still a hope, an idea – although we had less than three months to wait for him. When we returned 12 months later, just six weeks after his birth, he had somehow become a memory, permanently suspended in our vision. But incredibly, biologically speaking, he actually was still with us, present in the cells of my body from my blood to my heart, and therefore so much more than a memory. It has been found that DNA from our babies transfers across the placenta into our blood, bones and organs, and even passes to their future siblings in a process called microchimerism. Learning that made me realise that my travels with my son – our travels together as a family – would last forever. That realisation is what led me here. 

Cornwall will always be significant to us because it’s where we really started our travelling adventures with the idea of our son at the forefront of our minds, and where we returned to mourn him, and to slowly wade forwards into the never ending journey of trying to heal ourselves whilst always carrying our grief, remembering him wherever we go. 

We first visited in September 2021, about nine weeks after our wedding, still buzzing from the very best day(s) of our life together – somehow at that point already 11 years full of travel, adventure, and of course the humdrum of everyday life. We set off (very) early to drive from London to St. Ives, stopping at the beautifully peaceful and fog cloaked Stonehenge on the way, revelling that the school holidays were over and therefore we’d have a blissfully quiet visit. We spent an idyllic few days in St. Ives before moving on to Croatia (not the most obvious follow on I realise), as our planned honeymoon (a West Coast USA road trip) had been cancelled due to the pandemic. 

Our second visit fell in September 2022, just six weeks after our son’s birth, and this time we carried with us an intense weight and darkness that we sought to alleviate with the natural beauty, healing tranquility, stretching horizons, foaming sea and salted air that the South West coast offers in abundance. It can be easy to want to deprive yourself of all things good when your soul is stuck in the darkest of places, but travelling and enjoying beautiful scenery and food has always been so important to us, and we knew would be at least slightly restorative to us now.

Both of our visits focused on the lovely town of St. Ives as it’s considered the creative hotspot of the region, but our second visit also saw us explore some of the further corners of Cornwall. It was life affirming to absorb as much beauty, nature and culture as we could, enjoying discovering the new whilst still finding comfort in the familiar. 

The following photos were taken by us on both of our trips, and show what we would consider our highest recommendations (so far) for anybody planning a trip to Cornwall. We’ve really just gotten started with exploring Cornwall, and would love to hear more ideas. Just a note, I wouldn’t describe us (me) as hikers, so we tend to find places of interest that also have incredible views.

*You can see photos in full by clicking through the photo albums below, but please don’t use our photos without permission.

Beyond St. Ives 

Tintagel Castle, Tintagel

There is in fact (to my unprepared surprise) no castle remaining here, but the panoramic views are absolutely breathtaking. This is the first place we visited on our trip after Stewie was born. The sky was so bright and vast, and the air so fresh and brisk, it made us feel tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of life on this planet, but also like it was the first time in weeks we could actually breathe. 

St. Michael’s Mount, Mount’s Bay

St. Michael’s Mount is a National Trust property comprised of a castle-like house that’s still lived in yet full of surprising art and artefacts, and surrounded by beautiful gardens. It’s perched on top of a small island that you can access by walking across the beach and path at low tide, but which requires a boat to return at high tide. Walking across the stretching sands then seeing them be swallowed up by the tide felt like another reminder of just how powerful and in charge nature is, and how there is so much we just can’t control. Considering the deep pain we were in, it was both humbling and reassuring. This is where Adam took my favourite photo of me, that I feel best portrays the person I became after the loss of my son. I also happened to be wearing an outfit I made myself in response to the grief I experienced after the loss of my dad. I’ve shared more thoughts on this on the about page.

Lizard Point 

We visited Lizard Point, the most southerly point of mainland England, on our first trip to Cornwall and found it to be the most dramatic place for photography, cloaked in mist and home to stunning structures, pebbles (a bit of an obsession of mine), and plants that seem to thrive and become more beautiful by being battered by the Cornish sea and winds. It’s wrapped by the South West Coast Path which was the focus of The Salt Path by Raynor Winn, an incredibly life affirming book about continuing forwards when faced with the unfaceable that I read when I was first pitched head first into deep grief after my dad passed away in 2017. This is one of those places where you feel humbled simply by being surrounded by nature at its most raw – something the English coast is so good at.

Land’s End

We visited Land’s End on our first Cornwall trip and it was a bit of a confusion for the senses, with a combination of abandoned tourist shops (we arrived at the end of the day), and rugged, untamed nature. It was simultaneously underwhelming and quite beautiful. When you think of the most westerly point of mainland England, perhaps you expect to feel something a bit more when you arrive. But nonetheless, there are some lovely views and beautiful flora to be seen there.

The Minack Theatre, Porthcurno

The Minack outdoor theatre is an absolute gem which we plan to go to every time we’re in Cornwall. The theatre is built into a cliff, and if you arrive early enough (we haven’t either time), you can enjoy the beautiful surrounding beach and cliff walks. It’s highly recommended that you take snacks and drinks as well as a cushion, blankets, and hooded waterproofs (no umbrellas allowed). The weather was dry on our first visit, but we got quite wet, even with waterproofs, on our second visit. Even so, that didn’t detract from the wonderful experience you are guaranteed – there’s something indescribably magical about the Minack.

Dan Dan the Lobster Man, Porthleven

A brilliant food spot if you visit Porthleven, or possibly even worth travelling to Porthleven for, we discovered Dan Dan the Lobster Man on our first trip. He didn’t disappoint, providing the tastiest locally caught lobster with melted butter, and delicious crab and prawn sandwiches. We’d even already bought some sealife artworks by Andy Bibbings, the same artist who painted the lobster pictured here, which makes us smile whenever we see it.

The Eden Project

We’ve always wanted to visit The Eden Project and finally did on our second trip to Cornwall. The Eden Project is incredible, an educational charity and social enterprise that’s inspiring from both aesthetic and knowledge perspectives. We spent many relaxing hours exploring the gardens and exhibits, learning about growing plants and food around the world, getting inspiration for our own garden which is an ever evolving project. We even befriended some sort of birds we dubbed Eden Chickens, which absolutely have a proper name though we don’t know what it is.

In and around St. Ives 

The Leach Pottery

Considering I’ve done a few pottery courses (yet am still only mediocre, but that doesn’t matter), The Leach Pottery was an essential visit. Founded in 1920 by Bernard Leach and Shoji Hamada, it’s among the most respected and influential potteries in the world, and is considered by many to be the birthplace of British studio pottery. The Pottery’s creative principle of East/West exchange is maintained by scores of international potters coming here to train and hold residencies.

I’ve built up quite a collection of special mugs that remind me of meaningful places or people or evoke particular memories, and I added to my collection by treating myself to two mugs made at the Leach Pottery by Muneaki Iwashita during a two month residency. Iwashita is a 6th generation potter whose family has been potting since 1866. He makes work with the theme of healing in everyday life, in the hope that it will create the feeling of happiness. I can completely understand this, as drinking coffee from a handmade mug with meaning behind it always brings me a moment of joy.

Barbara Hepworth Museum and Sculpture Garden

Barbara Hepworth lived and worked in Trewyn studios in the centre of St. Ives – now the Barbara Hepworth Museum – from 1949 until her death in 1975. I’ve always loved her work, and it’s such an immersive experience being able to explore both her studio and the garden filled with her sculptures. It’s definitely the kind of place you can visit multiple times and enjoy just being in, with lots of places to sit and think.  

Tate St. Ives

The permanent collections of the Tate St. Ives celebrate, among other things, the modern art that flourished in and around St. Ives from the 1940s onwards, from painting and sculpture to architecture. The permanent collections never get boring, but there is also a rotating calendar of exhibitions, workshops and seminars. Some of my favourite pieces on display (below) are by Paul Feiler, Jackson Pollack and Ben Nicholson (husband of Barbara Hepworth).

Porthmeor Beach Cafe

Located right on the beach in front of the Tate, the Porthmeor Beach Cafe is a perfect spot to refuel before or after a gallery visit. It serves delicious fresh food including locally sourced fish and mussels. It gets quite busy at lunchtime, so booking is recommended.

One Fish Street  

One Fish Street is a tiny restaurant located right on the harbour, and is without a doubt the best gastronomical recommendation we received (from the wonderful Rassie at Host St. Ives). The restaurant is only open for limited days and offers an eight(ish) course tasting menu with optional wine pairings, showcasing delicious foods from artisanal and local growers and producers, served in locally produced ceramics. We went on both of our visits, and definitely intend to go each time we’re in St. Ives. The lighting isn’t conducive to very good photography (and I’m definitely not a food photographer as we’re both too impatient to actually eat), but below is a flavour of what we tried in 2021 and 2022.

And below is a snapshot of our 2022 experience. I considered leaving out the photo of me, but decided I really wanted to include it for an important reason. This photo was taken only 6 weeks after our son died, when we were still in the absolute depths of the early pain and heartbreak of our loss. I know that there can be a huge amount of guilt when it comes to loss, that it feels like a betrayal to our loved ones if we smile, or even laugh. But I wanted to leave this here as proof that even in the darkest of times, if the opportunity to smile or laugh comes our way, it’s alright to embrace it – in fact it’s amazing to, as every time we laugh we release feel-good hormones into our system, and both our body and mind truly benefit from it. I’m so grateful that through everything we’ve still been able to find moments of joy and laughter, and I hope if you’re reading this because you’ve experienced loss (or even if not), that you also manage to find and embrace some of those moments in the hard times.

The Moomaid of Zennor

I highly recommend The Moomaid of Zennor in St. Ives for delicious Cornish ice cream, though I can’t actually remember the flavours I tried – probably some sort of honeycomb / salted caramel type combination. Adam always goes for pistachio when it’s available and I know it didn’t disappoint. Either way, this photo that a kind passer by offered to take reminds me of the simple joy we felt on our first visit after our wedding, with me trying to stop my panama hat blowing off whilst simultaneously protecting my ice cream. This hat was actually bought in Panama on a family trip around Mexico in 2009, and it reminds me of my dad who also had one – and in fact on the cover of the order of service at his funeral was a photo of him wearing it, as he was just so happy living his best life in it. Apparently, a real panama hat can be rolled up and passed through a wedding ring though I’ve never tested that theory.

Host St. Ives

Host St. Ives is an incredibly unique boutique hotel and restaurant located in an old bank right in the centre of St. Ives with views down to the harbour. It was founded by the brilliant Rassie who was able to direct us to the best restaurants, sunsets, Cornish pasties, and anything else we could have wanted. We stayed in the Library suite for both of our stays, first as a treat for our sort-of-honeymoon, and then when our souls just needed deep healing on our second trip. I can’t recommend Host St. Ives highly enough, though will caveat that staying there is definitely a big treat, but you can also get a taste by visiting for cocktails or dinner – we’d recommend a freshly made pizza from the wood-fired oven.

Exploring St. Ives beaches and old town  

The beaches of Cornwall are famed for their beauty, and there are a number of peaceful beaches local to St. Ives. Some of the best for sunrise and sunset are Porthgwidden, Porthminster and Porthmeor. I can’t actually remember where these photos were taken but I know it was completely deserted when we visited after a delicious morning coffee.

St. Ives is also full of beautiful old buildings, with ancient architecture nestled alongside more modern structures. You can easily spend a lazy afternoon ambling through the cobbled streets, popping into the dozens of art galleries and cafes scattered around.

Truly, I really can’t recommend Cornwall highly enough. It’s so good for the soul as well as being a gastronomic and cultural feast. We plan to return many, many times to experience both the new and familiar, and will be thinking of Stewie every time we do.